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your Emotional IQ score is:
134
The above chart shows where you
fall on the Emotional IQ scale compared to others. You scored higher
than
% of other test takers.
Your Emotional IQ measures how well
your emotions guide you towards smart decisions. In fact,
increasingly, researchers are pointing to Emotional IQs as better
indicators of overall success in life than traditional IQ tests
alone. Healthy relationships and flourishing careers are impossible
without interacting successfully with others. Even someone who
possesses a genius Intellectual Quotient (IQ) can miss out on the
wisdom that comes from understanding another human being.
What makes Tickle's Emotional IQ test more comprehensive
than others, is that we structured the test to actually
isolate different interpersonal skills and how well you use
them to your benefit.
As such, each of your scores on the 4
emotional intelligence dimensions, Perception, Expression,
Empathy, and Emotional Management, are independent of one
another, despite the fact that only in combination do they yield
your true EIQ.
That also means that you can score high on
all dimensions, low on all dimensions, and any permutation in
between. There are plenty of reasons to understand where your
strengths and weakness lie. In so doing, you can play to your
strengths and work on improving your skills on all the dimensions.
As we noted in your initial results, your emotional
strength, or the dimension on which you scored the highest is
Perception. For an in-depth look at those dimensions, read on
about your Emotional IQ profile. |
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| Perception |
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| Expression |
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| Empathy |
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Emotional
Management |
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The
psychological community agrees that the dimensions portrayed in the
above chart are the cornerstone of your Emotional IQ. Here's what
they mean in this context.
Your perception score
measures your ability to perceive other people's emotions. It also
indicates your innate ability to recognize other people's emotions
through nonverbal communication channels. In other words, it gauges
how well you pick up on the things people aren't saying. And
that's a powerful skill because nonverbal communications body
language, facial expressions, touch, tone, and appearance often
convey a person's true feelings. In fact, some researchers estimate
that 93% of all communication is nonverbal. The higher your score,
the stronger your edge on the competition.
Your expression score
measures the extent to which you allow yourself to feel and to
express your own emotions. It gauges how comfortable you are in
expressing the full range of emotions both positive and negative.
Being able to express a range of emotions implies that you
understand the difference between what you really feel as
opposed to acting in the manner you think you are supposed to
feel. When you get better at expressing emotions, you also accept
those emotions as valid and valuable in making
decisions.
Your
empathy score represents your ability to understand and appreciate
other people's points of view. Experts agree that your ability to
see things from perspectives different from your own will make you a
better communicator and, in general, a more perceptive individual.
It also indicates how much benefit of the doubt you are likely to
give people and how much leeway you give them before you form
conclusions about them, their ideas, or their motives.
Your emotional
management score reflects how much you let your emotions affect the
world around you. It measures how good you are at understanding your
emotions and acting upon them. Emotional management also gauges
whether you let your emotions drive your actions or whether you tend
to contain them and base your actions on things more objective than
your emotions.
Now that you better understand the
dimensions that make up your Emotional IQ, we can take a look at
your individual scores. Remember, like everything in life, you can
always improve your rating on these dimensions. In fact, Tickle's
test is designed to help you do just that so you can more easily get
what you want in your life. |
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You
scored 10 out of 10 on the perception scale.
That
means you are highly skilled at picking up on non-verbal cues.
You're very sensitive to subtleties of people's actions and
gestures, and can feel out the "vibe" of a situation more readily
than most people. In short, it's hard to slip anything past
you.
For example, if you noticed someone glancing at their
watch during a conversation, chances are you'd be aware of the
various signals this action is sending. Are they anxious to end the
conversation or are they just checking the time? From there, you
would be able to read other signs perhaps their tone of voice is
clipped or their attention is diverted to get a clear idea of what
they are thinking.
"Getting the hint" is definitely one of
your talents. But being so clued into actions around you can also
throw you off at times. While you are sensitive to non-verbal cues,
that doesn't mean that your interpretation of the cues are always
correct. Perhaps your friend with the watch is simply checking the
time, after all. Sometimes people's motives for their behavior are
complex and will be inaccessible to you, no matter how closely you
pay attention to things. You need to make sure you're not just
picking out non-verbals that confirm your expectations. If you're
going to read into the cues, you have to take in all the cues, not
just the ones you're looking for. You won't be doing anyone any
favors if you disregard actions that might contradict what you
expect from a situation.
Another thing you may need to keep
in mind: Not everyone is a non-verbal, mind reader. Even if you
think the subtle cues you send should be enough to make your point,
you need to remember that others need verbal confirmation. Many
people just aren't as perceptive as you.
The gift of
perception is most useful when it's understood that real
communication can only be achieved only when both perceiver and
messenger are conveying and comprehending messages with their true
intent.
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The skill of perception is one that can
always be improved no matter how adept you may already be. One
way to become better at decoding people's emotions is to watch
yourself express emotions in the mirror. This helps you
systematically distinguish different facial expressions. Take
a look in the mirror and try to imagine how you would
expressively react to the following scenarios. Think about the
facial expression, tone of voice, and body
language.
Surprise Think about walking into a
surprise party in your honor
Disgust Smelling milk
that has gone bad
Fear Think about hearing an
unusual noise in the middle of the night
Sadness
Think about a tragic death you've heard about on the
news
Anger Think about being rudely treated by a
clerk or waiter
Happiness Think about receiving
praise and a raise at work
Mild Irritation Think
about listening to your friend brag for the twelfth time about
the raise they just got when you didn't get one
Once
you've practiced these different emotions, take note of how
easy or difficult they were to convey. What are the chances
you would've been able to pick up these signals in others?
Once these scenarios become easy for you to express,
incorporate more difficult ones that are a mixture of
different emotions. Keep in mind that a good game of charades
is helpful for this, as well. |
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You
scored 7 out of 10 on the expression scale.
Your
score indicates that you are relatively comfortable in expressing
your emotions. However, you are not as open with your emotions as
you could be and may even be embarrassed to acknowledge or express
them. You are fairly in tune with both your conscious and
unconscious feelings and why you are feeling a particular way.
For example, if you'd been working for a promotion at work
you might have been confiding in a close co-worker about wanting a
certain position. Then, a couple days later you might learn the
position you'd wanted has been given to your co-worker! Although
rationally you understand she wasn't vying for the position behind
your back and it was a matter of circumstance that she got the
position over you, you still feel disappointment and anger.
Chances are, because you are someone who is relatively
comfortable expressing emotions, you probably won't hide your
disappointment because it's not "rational." Instead, you might
realize this is a situation that needs to be addressed between the
two of you. You know that ignoring this touchy situation could breed
resentment further down the road. Simply put, you have a need to
clear the air. Whether you do this effectively or sensitively is
another story, but the point is you do not waste energy protecting
yourself from what you feel.
Sometimes people mistakenly
equate being self-aware or relying on your emotions for your
responses as a sign of weakness. This may be a problem for you. In
the above example, it might be hard for you to express
disappointment to your co-worker because it shows you have a
vulnerable side, that you felt hurt.
However, you are
self-aware enough to understand that all the intellectualizing and
rationalizing in the world cannot erase your discontent. After all,
you recognize you will be compromising your happiness if don't tend
to your emotional needs.
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Myth 1: Emotions are more primitive than
reason.
Emotions originate in the brain just like
reason, even though you might feel them in your heart or in
your gut. They are equally valid when making decisions, the
key to making informed decisions it to consult both sides of
your brain.
Myth 2: Clamping down on your emotions
is a sign of strength.
Unfortunately, too many people
mistakenly believe that being able to turn off their emotions
makes them powerful. Conversely, some people think that
feeling and emotion gives you permission to act upon it. The
key to managing your emotions is to strike the right balance.
You must first allow yourself to feel your raw emotions, then
you must temper them with the rational side of your brain.
You're so angry you want to punch someone? Then let yourself
feel that emotion, just stop short of acting on it and make
those emotions available to your rational side to balance out.
Myth 3: Some emotions are bad to feel.
All
emotions are informative. Just because our emotions sometimes
put us in an unpleasant state does not mean they should be
avoided. Our emotions can tell us when there is something in
our environment that needs fixing.
Myth 4: The best
judgments are ones made without emotion.
Our society
has valued the rational parts of our brain to the detriment of
the emotional parts. Think about how many violent acts are
committed because people don't know how to effectively deal
with their emotions and instead simply snap. To achieve true
harmony within ourselves, both sides of the brain need to be
acknowledged and attended to. |
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People who believe in the above emotional
myths cling to those legends to justify living their lives
numbly. Any expert will tell you, however, that numbing
yourself to reality will only lead to exhaustion and
unhappiness. Exhaustion will take hold because oit takes a lot
of energy to suppress your feelings. Unhappiness will set in
because people who are unwilling to experience the lows of
life are also cheating themselves out of experiencing the true
highs.
You were born with the same gut instincts that
have aided our species through years of evolutionary change
and survival. Digging deep within yourself to rediscover your
intuition requires that you believe that you do have an
unconscious capable of acting without the aid of rational
thinking.
Exploring how you feel can be scary, but it
ultimately proves to be an empowering experience. After all,
passionate feelings fuel your thoughts, your ambitions, your
desires, and ultimately provides meaning in your
life.
Try keeping this in mind the next time you're
unsure about what you're feeling. Chances are the answer is
right there inside you it might just simply be a case of
learning how to listen to yourself. The first step is giving
credence to any thought that arises. Remember that just
because you're having a thought, doesn't mean you have to act
on it. Just acknowledge that it's there. You'd be surprised
how such a simple act can sometimes point you in the right
direction. |
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You
scored a 8 out of 10 on the empathy scale.
You
respond to others with your heart and soul. People sense your
genuineness and commitment to being a compassionate person. You are
able to not only observe other people's situations, but also
understand the importance of empathizing instead of criticizing. You
are not one to put down others simply to boost your own self-esteem,
and that's because you're good at putting yourself in other people's
shoes.
You are astute enough to know that sometimes you
won't have all the information about another person you need to make
a fair judgment of them or their actions. You acknowledge that you
don't know their background, their personal or financial situation,
or another key element that might be driving them to do something a
certain way.
You wisely realize this, and therefore can look
at people in a forgiving light at least until you're able to
process all the information you need to make an educated and fair
assessment of the situation. You also realize that you, too, might
come under scrutiny by other people and will want them to think
about the true motivations behind your actions and realize that
circumstances may drive you to act differently than you normally
would.
You also have a capacity to understand actions you
yourself don't condone or agree with. It is your ability to see many
sides of an issue that allows you to do so. All of us need people in
our lives who honor our individuality and imperfections.
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You are a compassionate person who
understands that the world is enriched by the presence of
imperfect and quirky people. You are generous in giving them
the space they need to be themselves and hopefully this
allows you to be yourself, as well. Steer clear of people who
do not extend the same support as you do.
You may
frequently encounter people who latch on to you because they
can sense how emotionally supportive you are. Ask yourself:
Are they doing the same for you? Of course, they may not have
the same level of emotional intelligence in this area as you
do. But they should be able to fulfill some of your
needs.
If you find yourself drained by others, it is
time to reevaluate some of your relationships. Simply let
people in your life know what you need. Asking people to
support you in specific ways is not asking too much, nor is it
unfair. You are allowing them a chance to be there for you in
meaningful ways.
People like to feel needed, so you
are doing a favor for friends who genuinely enjoy having a
mutually satisfying relationship. As for those who do not
appreciate your candor, you may need to establish new
boundaries for what you can expect out of them, as well as
what they should expect of you. |
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You
scored a 8 out of 10 the emotional management scale.
You recognize that feeling emotions and acting
upon them are two separate things. Whether you believe that emotions
and moods need to be experienced as they occur, or that they should
be channeled into something positive, you are in charge of how your
emotions will impact your life.
Experts say that the
ideally, emotions should guide, not dictate, our own behavior.
Emotions are extremely visceral and as such, can hijack our sense of
logic and reason. But people with high emotional management scores
like you understand this phenomenon, and know how to make decisions
independent of the emotions they are experiencing at a given time.
This skill in and of itself puts you well ahead of many. The
ability to make more objective decisions will likely take you far.
Managing your emotions and psychologically taking care of yourself
are critical life skills. You are aware that although you may not be
able to control the type of emotion you experience or when you
experience it, you do have control over its duration and the extent
to which it controls your behavior. This is not to say, however,
that emotions never contribute to your decisions. At times the
emotions you are having are appropriate guides for your actions. And
with your keen sense of emotional management, you'll know when and
where to base decisions upon them.
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Although it is a natural and useful emotion,
anger can get out of control. Anger that gets out of control
or that turns into rage needs to be kept in check. Most people
want to act out aggressively when they get angry.
Unfortunately, behaving aggressively can lead to violence and
unintentional disastrous consequences for everyone.
Experiencing anger can be seductive because it feels
so powerful. However, you need to ask yourself: Who is in
charge here you or your emotions? The power that you are
feeling is most likely one that you have no control over.
Being truly powerful is to dictate how you will confront the
situation that is angering you so that you can achieve a
peaceful resolution. The important thing is to not let your
anger lead to more harm for yourself and others. Here are a
few anger management techniques for you to think about.
- Breathe deeply. Simply allowing your body to relax will
help its physiological recovery.
- When you are feeling out of control, step away from the
situation. Give yourself time to regain your composure so
that you won't say or do anything that you will later
regret.
- Stop thinking too much! Overanalyzing usually leads to a
downward spiral in which you start to recall additional real
and imagined reasons for why you should be so angry. This
only magnifies and distorts our perception of reality in
ugly and harmful ways.
- Instead of getting defensive, get empathic. If you are
in an argument with someone, try to take their position and
see if you can relate to their perspective. You may not
agree with them, but perspective taking should at least get
you calm enough to understand what their motives are.
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When reading the
answers below, it's important to keep in mind that Tickle is
providing you with the "best" answer and its rationale. Beyond the
"best" answer, there are also other responses that may indicate a
certain degree of emotional intelligence. In a few cases, multiple
answers are listed as correct.
 = your answer
 = best answer
| 1. |
Which emotion do you think the woman
below is experiencing?
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Boredom |
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Pride |
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Happiness |
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Surprise |
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Fear |
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Excitement |
| | Research on emotional expressions has found that
expressions of genuine happiness consist of a combination of
smiling, (as indicated by upturned mouth) and a crinkling at the
corners of the eyes. Experts say that an upturned mouth
without any change around the eye area could be an expression
of faked pleasure.
| 2. |
Which emotion do you think the man
below is experiencing?
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Sadness |
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Anger |
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Happiness |
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Anxiety |
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Disgust |
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Grief |
| | Notice how the skin around his eyes is tightened
and his eyebrows are lowered and drawn together? The subject's eyes
are narrowed and his eyes are bulged out. The skin around his cheeks
also looks raised because he is baring his teeth. These are all
non-verbal cues that convey anger, according to experts.
| 3. |
Which emotion do you think the boy
below is experiencing?
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Fear |
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Rage |
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Elation |
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Shame |
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Disgust |
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Surprise |
| | Here, his expression is one of surprise. His
eyebrows are raised so that the eyes appear larger than they
normally do as his forehead wrinkles. Look at how his eyes are open
wider than usual by the raising of the upper eyelid and the lowering
of the bottom eyelids. His open mouth also indicates the feeling of
surprise, experts agree.
| 4. |
Which emotion do you think the man
below is experiencing?
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Dejection |
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Irritation |
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Fear |
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Surprise |
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Disgust |
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Happiness |
| | The expression of fear most closely resembles the
expression of surprise. In both, the eyes are widened and the
eyebrows are raised. But the brows here are drawn together to
produce wrinkles in the forehead. The main difference in the
emotional display of surprise and fear is in the mouth region. In
expressions of fear, the edges of the mouth are tense and turned
downward as seen here.
| 5. |
Which emotion do you think the woman
below is experiencing?
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Sadness |
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Rage |
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Hostility |
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Shame |
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Disgust |
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Surprise |
| | The most distinguishing feature of disgust is the
wrinkling of the nose. In conjunction with the nose wrinkle, the
cheeks are raised and the eyebrows are lowered, making the eyes look
smaller. Typically, the upper lip is raised as well. The overall
countenance conveys a sense of disgust.
| 6. |
Which emotion do you think the woman
below is experiencing?
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Sadness |
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Embarrassment |
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Rage |
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Surprise |
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Disgust |
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Fear |
| | Typically, when someone is sad, as the woman in the
below photo, muscles in the eye region contract so that our eyebrows
are furrowed in such a way that the inside corners are turned
upwards. The upper eyelid corner is raised as well. The jaw muscles
are slacked so that the face appears longer, and the lips and mouth
region are turned downwards into a frown.
| 7. |
Concealed irritation or genuine
warmth?
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Concealed Irritation |
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Genuine warmth |
| | At first glance it may appear that this woman is
genuinely smiling. But looking closer, notice how her teeth are
gritted and her lips are slightly pursed around the corners and
tightened down over her front teeth. Also, the muscles around the
eyes are not contracted so there is no crinkling around the eyes to
correspond with the smiling mouth. A legitimate smile from this
woman would show her lips relaxing from the top of her front teeth,
her smile moving more into a crescent shape and her eyes narrowing
with crinkles in the corner.
| 8. |
What does this man's body language
convey?
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Excitement and happiness |
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Helplessness and uncertainty |
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Smugness and confidence |
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Anger, but with resolve |
| | The shoulder shrug display tends to denote
helplessness and uncertainty. The combination of slumped shoulders
and the opening of the arms with upturned palms is a submissive
gesture.
| 9. |
What is this woman thinking?
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I really enjoy his stories |
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He is so funny |
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Whoa, his is standing way too close to me |
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He's holding me up for my next meeting |
| | This illustration depicts a woman's negative
reaction to her personal space being violated by the man she's
talking to. Notice how her shoulders are stiffened and her back is
slightly arched. She is politely trying to re-establish her personal
space without taking a step back from him. Also, the expression on
her face indicates that she is slightly tense, as does her grip on
her coffee cup.
| 10. |
The woman in this meeting is
thinking:
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I can't wait to tell her what a stupid idea
this is |
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I don't agree, but I'm not going to say
anything out loud |
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I wish I had that idea. Why can't I think of
the good ones? |
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This talk is so informative but I don't want
to give her credit for it |
| | "Lint picking" behavior is often used when someone
is attempting to displace their feelings onto something besides what
is causing them discomfort. In this case, the woman may disapprove
of what her colleague is explaining, or may simply just be
disengaged but not feel like she can express her true feelings.
Hence her turning her attention to fidgeting with her clothes. While
she may verbally agree with her colleague, averting her gaze and
focusing on minor behaviors are attempts to conceal her feelings
from others.
| 11. |
The man in the audience is attending
a seminar. What is he thinking?
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I totally disagree with this speaker |
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I really like what this guy has to say |
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This is boring |
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That is the saddest story I've ever heard |
| | The standard arms-crossed gesture combined with a
neutral or somewhat negative expression denotes the person is not
receptive to comments or ideas. It could be the case that you have
said something that they do not agree with. When you are interacting
with someone and see this gesture, your aim should be to find out
what has caused them to not be receptive to your ideas.
| 12. |
What is this gesture
signaling?
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Hostility |
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Openness |
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Frustration |
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Excitement |
| | Arms spread wide convey that he is open and
receptive. Fully exposed and upturned palms symbolize
submissiveness. Overall, this person is displaying a non-threatening
attitude.
In this section, there are no "right"
or "wrong" answers, but certain behaviors are associated with more
advanced people skills. Below, the answers are presented in order
from most emotionally intelligent (a) to least emotionally
intelligent.
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= most emotionally intelligent |
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= least emotionally
intelligent |
| 13. |
I know when I'm feeling bad,
but most of the time I can't really tell why I feel
that way.
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Not like me at all |
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Somewhat unlike me |
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Somewhat describes me |
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Very much describes me |
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| 14. |
I get annoyed at myself when I
cry.
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Not like me at all |
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Somewhat unlike me |
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Somewhat describes me |
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Very much describes me |
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| 15. |
I cringe when I see someone extremely
emotional whether it's happy, sad, angry, excited,
etc.
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Not like me at all |
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Somewhat unlike me |
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Somewhat describes me |
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Very much describes me |
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| 16. |
I'm proud of myself when I put on a
straight face even when I'm distrssed.
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Not like me at all |
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Somewhat unlike me |
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Somewhat describes me |
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Very much describes me |
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| 17. |
When I feel strong emotions well up,
my first instinct is to control them.
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Not like me at all |
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Somewhat unlike me |
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Somewhat describes me |
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Very much describes me |
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| 18. |
I usually wait until someone else
tells me that they like or love me before I tell them
so.
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Not like me at all |
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Somewhat unlike me |
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Somewhat describes me |
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Very much describes me |
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| 19. |
I've been known to laugh until my
stomach hurts.
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Very much describes me |
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Somewhat describes me |
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Somewhat unlike me |
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Not like me at all |
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| 20. |
I keep a journal or diary to express
my thoughts or feelings.
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Very much describes me |
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Somewhat describes me |
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Somewhat unlike me |
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Not like me at all |
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| 21. |
Sometimes it feels like my emotions
come out of nowhere and I don't know why I am feeling a
certain way.
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Not like me at all |
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Somewhat unlike me |
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Somewhat describes me |
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Very much describes me |
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| 22. |
When I'm undecided about something, I
like to rely more on my heart than my head.
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Very much describes me |
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Somewhat describes me |
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Somewhat unlike me |
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Not like me at all |
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| 23. |
I enjoy listening to music or
watching movies to experience emotions that regular life does
not offer.
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Very much describes me |
|
| |
|
Somewhat describes me |
|
| |
|
Somewhat unlike me |
|
| |
|
Not like me at all |
|
| |
| 24. |
When someone has done a good job, I
pay a genuine compliment.
|
| |
|
Very much describes me |
|
| |
|
Somewhat describes me |
|
| |
|
Somewhat unlike me |
|
| |
|
Not like me at all |
|
| |
| 25. |
It's better to get things out in the
open as you're feeling them than to keep your feelings
inside.
|
| |
|
Very much describes me |
|
| |
|
Somewhat describes me |
|
| |
|
Somewhat unlike me |
|
| |
|
Not like me at all |
|
| |
| 26. |
Expressing emotions is a sign of
weakness.
|
| |
|
Not like me at all |
|
| |
|
Somewhat unlike me |
|
| |
|
Somewhat describes me |
|
| |
|
Very much describes me |
|
| |
| 27. |
I usually tell people what I ______
about something.
|
| |
|
Feel |
|
| |
|
Think |
|
| |
In this next
section, we measured the extent to which your responses were
sensitive, understanding of someone else's viewpoint, and socially
appropriate. Even though we provide information on the best answer
below, the other responses do vary in degree of social
responsiveness.
= your answer
= best answer
| 28. |
For months, you and your friends have
been planning a weekend in Las Vegas. One friend calls at the
last minute to say she can't come because she has to work over
the weekend. What would you say to her? |
| |
|
I'd ask her what she was working on to see if
she's telling the truth |
| |
|
I'd try to convince her to put in more hours
next week |
| |
|
I'd tell her that I wish she could come, but
that I understand |
| |
|
I'd remind her how much effort it took to plan
this and that she can't back out now |
| | Let your friend understand that while you are
disappointed, you can relate to their reasons for not coming. After
all, your friend may also feel bad for not being able to come no
reason to rub it in.
| 29. |
Your colleague at work has just been
promoted to manager. The other day she snapped at you for
something minor. You think to yourself: |
| |
|
This new position has brought out her true
nature |
| |
|
She's just anxious about her new
responsibilities |
| | Here, you have the opportunity to blame the
situation or the colleague. It takes greater effort and sensitivity
to comprehend that sometimes situations produce behavior that we
don't understand or agree with.
| 30. |
Your friend just started dating
someone new, leaving you with unanswered messages and Friday
nights spent alone. You think: |
| |
|
That's what happens in the beginning of a new
relationship |
| |
|
My friend is being disloyal |
| |
|
It's time for me to find new people to hang out
with |
| |
|
I should tell her that she needs to change her
behavior if she wants to keep me as a friend |
| |
|
I need to have a discussion with her about her
take on our friendship |
| | Forgiving your friend for being caught up in a new
situation shows that you are a flexible and generous friend. This
question has two good answers however. Another good alternative is
to sit down with your friend and ask them what they think, so long
as you do not put them on the defensive. The other answers vary in
their degree of empathy.
| 31. |
When a homeless person approaches you
for money, you: |
| |
|
Say sorry and walk quickly by with your head
down |
| |
|
Give a sour look that person needs to get a
job |
| |
|
Ignore the person completely |
| |
|
Give food instead of money |
| |
|
Give some money |
| |
|
Smile sympathetically and wish the person good
luck |
| | While each of us have our own social political
views, how we respond to an individual in need of help reflects our
degree of empathy. Each of the responses listed varies in their
degree of empathy. The first and the last choices are somewhat
empathic and the second response is the least empathic.
| 32. |
One of your friends decides to stay
with his girlfriend even though she's been less than faithful.
You think: |
| |
|
That's stupid. I hope I am never that
desperate |
| |
|
I wish he had more self-respect |
| |
|
What a hard decision that must have been |
| |
|
None of my business they have to live with
each other |
| | With this response, you are putting yourself in the
other person's perspective even if you do not necessarily agree with
their decision.
| 33. |
You bring a friend to dinner at Uncle
Ralph's. Uncle Ralph accidentally makes an offensive remark
about your friend's culture. After leaving his house, you:
|
| |
|
Say nothing to your friend about the
incident |
| |
|
Make fun of your uncle with your friend |
| |
|
Ask your friend if they took offense and
explain your uncle's mistake |
| |
|
Put a new spin on the remark and try to make it
sound like a compliment |
| | With this response, you are being most sensitive to
both parties and treat neither insensitively.
| 34. |
Your colleague, Jack, has overheard
you and your co-workers making plans to go out after work. You
debate inviting Jack, but know he is awkward in social
situations. Ultimately, you decide to: |
| |
|
Encourage him to come along maybe he'll
loosen up with more practice |
| |
|
Ignore him, because you can't have as good of a
time if he comes along |
| |
|
Unenthusiastically invite him and tell him that
it might not be his type of thing |
| |
|
Pretend you don't see him and keep your head
down as you leave |
| | Although you may not have wanted to invite this
person, you understand how terrible it might feel to be so blatantly
rejected. Thus, you put this person's needs above your own in this
situation.
| 35. |
You've cooked a roast for a family
dinner and your new brother-in-law announces that he does not
eat meat. Your reaction is: |
| |
|
To offer him more salad and look for something
else he can eat |
| |
|
To be slightly annoyed, but to put the potatoes
aside for him |
| |
|
To become upset that he had to make such a big
deal out of it |
| |
|
To encourage him to try some anyway since one
day of eating meat won't kill him |
| | Your brother-in-law might feel nervous about making
this announcement and instead of indulging in your own feelings,
answer A shows that you'd be taking care of his. Although it is not
always better to put other people's feelings above your own, you
have to ask yourself: who is more uncomfortable and who has more to
lose in this situation? By acknowledging and behaving in such a way,
you're showing you understand this is a bigger deal for them.
This section of the test assessed your ability to
perceive emotions and non-verbal expressions correctly in others.
Below are the correct responses and the answer key for each question
in the perceiving index.
= your answer
= best answer
| 36. |
You are on a plane watching the
latest Steven Segal movie. Suddenly, the plane begins rocking
violently with turbulence. What do you do? |
| |
|
I'd continue watching the movie it's Steven
Segal |
| |
|
I'd hit the call button and ask the flight
attendant what's going on |
| |
|
I'd stop watching the movie and keep on alert
to hear if the captain has anything to say |
| | This response demonstrates that you are aware of
being in a potentially stressful situation. Instead of overreacting
or denying your feelings, you are in a wait-and-see mode, showing
that you are trying to manage your emotions sensibly.
| 37. |
When I'm having a rough week at work
or at school, I: |
| |
|
Distract myself with shopping or other
hobbies |
| |
|
Talk to someone about it |
| |
|
Watch TV or listen to music |
| |
|
Take some time by myself to explore what's
really bothering me |
| | Both of these responses involve recognizing your
emotions and attempting to treat your stress in ways that alleviate
it without numbing yourself or denying your emotions.
| 38. |
At work, a colleague takes credit for
one your great ideas in front of the boss. What's your
reaction? |
| |
|
You talk to your colleague in private and find
out what happened |
| |
|
You immediately correct your colleague saying
that it was really your idea |
| |
|
You fume, but say nothing |
| |
|
You forget about it there's nothing you can do
about it now |
| | In this situation, not confronting your colleague
immediately in front of the boss shows restraint and class. Although
you may feel like saying something, you know that you may produce
potentially unnecessary conflict. Asking your colleague in private
about the matter is giving this person the benefit of the doubt. If
a sincere mistake was made, then you are giving them a chance to
explain themselves and rectify the situation for you.
| 39. |
You and a friend have vowed to lose
your winter guts with a new exercise program. You notice that
your friend has dropped weight faster than you. You react
by: |
| |
|
Telling them that they look great and to keep
it up |
| |
|
Reminding them that slower weight loss is
easier to keep off |
| |
|
Giving them a batch of their favorite brownies
they can't resist |
| |
|
Being a bit crabby despite your best
intentions |
| |
|
Telling them that they look scrawny |
| | It is hard to feel like you are not doing as well
as someone else when you are trying your best. However, recognizing
that all of us feel emotions that we are not proud of, but don't
necessarily need to act on is a sign of emotional maturity.
| 40. |
It's your first day as a telemarketer
and your job is to get people to switch to your long distance
company. The first twenty calls result in hang-ups and rude
responses. What do you do? |
| |
|
Quit. That's enough information to know that
it's not going to work |
| |
|
Start fresh and take a different approach for
the next few calls |
| |
|
Just keep plugging away through the rest of the
day |
| |
|
Get down on myself for messing up again |
| | Everyone experiences failure. Redefining setbacks
as "challenges" and trying new approaches demonstrates that you are
not deterred from your goals because of your frustrations. The best
method for finding success is usually trial and error.
| 41. |
Friend A asks you to set up a date
with Friend B. The two friends go out for a short period of
time and then Friend A cheats on Friend B. Now, Friend B is
devastated and confused. What do you do? |
| |
|
Reprimand Friend A for what they've done |
| |
|
Tell Friend B something negative about Friend A
to make them feel better |
| |
|
Feel bad because had you never set them up,
this would've never happened |
| |
|
Listen to both sides but try to stay out of it
as much as possible |
| |
|
Stop talking to Friend A and vow to never do
set-ups again |
| | The third answer, listen to both sides, is best.
This is one of those sticky situations in which there is no easy
answer, and your response requires that you exercise discretion and
try to balance your feelings. Some of the other responses require
that you "betray" one friend for the other. By focusing on
understanding rather than blame, you can keep things in balanced
perspective even though you may have strong feelings about it.
| 42. |
You finally get the nerve to ask your
new single neighbor over for dinner. In the midst of
conversation, a piece of lettuce flies out of your mouth and
lands on your glass. How do you react? |
| |
|
You're embarrassed and apologize profusely for
being so gross |
| |
|
You laugh at yourself and turn it into a joke
|
| |
|
You pretend not to notice, hoping that your
date doesn't either |
| | Sure, nobody wants this to happen to them. But hey,
it happens. Learning to laugh at yourself is the key to
self-acceptance.
| 43. |
You are in an argument with your
significant other and begin to feel like your partner is
accusing you of things that you have not done. You react
by: |
| |
|
Throwing equally unfair accusations back at
them |
| |
|
Leaving the room without saying a word |
| |
|
Proving a step-by-step breakdown of why your
partner is wrong |
| |
|
Telling your partner that you both need a time
out and can discuss it later |
| |
|
Apologizing just to end the argument |
| |
|
Pointing out all the negative things that
they've done too |
| | When two people are angry, it is best to find ways
to resolve the conflict without escalating the situation or avoiding
the conflict entirely. Giving both of you time to cool down and then
discuss things calmly is the most effective way to solve the problem
in the long term.
| 44. |
When your life gets incredibly
stressful, what do you do? |
| |
|
I carve out some time for myself and do
something I like |
| |
|
I wait for the situation to change on its
own |
| |
|
I work harder because I don't have time to
indulge in other activities |
| |
|
I vent my frustrations to close friends |
| |
|
I find ways to reduce my obligations |
| | We sometimes forget that our mental health needs
taking care of just as much as our physical health does. It is
important to acknowledge that we are not superhuman and sometimes
need to take drastic actions to make our lives manageable. When the
sources of stress are ones that you can reduce, then cutting down
the amount of obligations you have is the best long-term solution to
leading a manageable lifestyle. If your sources of stress are
unchangeable, simply finding time for yourself is your best bet. The
other answer alternatives denote feelings of helplessness and
resignation without trying to really take care of yourself.
| 45. |
You've just found out that your
landlord has sold your place. He says you'll have to move out
in a week. How would you respond? |
| |
|
I'd wait until I calmed down and then call him
back |
| |
|
I'd immediately call him and demand an
explanation |
| |
|
I'd go over to his home and have a face-to-face
"chat" |
| |
|
I'd immediately start packing. I have a lot to
do |
| | This situation would be highly stressful for
anyone. In fact, most of us would be very angry and have a few
choice words to say to our landlord. However, if you were being
truly strategic, you would learn as much as you could about the
situation and see if you could still get your way.
|
|
|
|
Just as emotions
themselves are hard to define, so is emotional intelligence. Since
the concept of emotional intelligence first emerged in the early
90s, psychologists have developed several theories and differing
opinions on what exactly makes someone "people smart." For more
reading on this subject, look to our references at the end of your
report.
Although emotions have always been the subject of
exploration for both philosophers and psychologists, the study of
emotional intelligence only began in the early 1990s. Dr. John Mayer
and Dr. Peter Salovey are the leading psychologists in the study of
emotional intelligence. In 1995, journalist Daniel Goleman brought
emotional intelligence to the mainstream by publishing his
bestseller, Emotional Intelligence.
Here at Tickle,
we primarily relied on these sources of expertise to create our
emotional intelligence test. If you're interested in learning more
about emotional intelligence, here are some suggested readings.
Goleman, D. (1995).
Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam Books.
Mayer, J.D., & Salovey, P. (1993). "The Intelligence of
Emotional Intelligence." Intelligence, 17(4), 433-442.
Salovey, P., & Mayer, J.D. (1990). "Emotional
intelligence". Imagination, Cognition, and Personality, 9,
185-211. |
|
|
